Evil Fruit Roll-Ups

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Fifteen is the magic number.  Not just your IQ?  Do you know how many carbohydrates are in the Fruit Roll-Ups on our counter.  Wait! Wait! I know this one.  Perfect right?  I’m guessing, not so much.  What evil parent designed Fruit Roll-Ups?  One that wanted skinny children.  It’s horrible.  When you give a child a Fruit Roll-Up, one of two things always happens.  Either the child fights with it for a long drawn out battle that ends in chewed fruit flavored plastic being thrown in the trash, or the parent fights with it putting his hands all over the child’s sticky snack.  I hope you washed your hands.  Or maybe that was the problem.  Maybe it wasn’t a parent at all, which is why the inventor thought it would be a great idea to roll a sticky snack in Saran Wrap.  It is like we are the mice and, in order to get the cheese, we have to get through the maze.  Almost exactly.  Except, I don’t have some special cheese smelling nose.  No.  I have huge man fingers.  More like skeleton fingers.  They match the rest of your body.  They are not designed to remove sticky plastic from sticky snack.  Especially when the blood sugar is low.  You blood sugar was low?  How?  When?  I think I officially hate my pancreas.  Just remember, I dumped you first.

Fifteen is the magic number.  With 15 grams of carbohydrates, I can raise my blood sugar approximately 50 points.  It’s blood sugar; not touch downs.  The point is, I can’t get the chewy snack away from the obnoxious plastic when I’m normal.  When, exactly, are you normal?  Dude!   Dude?   This is going to be the first post ever with more red than black.  Dissociative identity disorder is an entirely different blog.  The problem is that no one really takes my carbohydrate needs into consideration.  Normally, if I’m low, I need 15 grams of carbohydrates.  The glucose tablets are usually 4.  So I eat 4 at a time and that leaves with me with 0.  They come in packs of 4?  No, Mamma always eats the rest of them.  Huh?  Oh yeah.  Mamma likes the taste of medicine.  She likes grape flavored cough syrup.  Yuck.  She once took two weeks of amoxicillin in about 3 days.  Table spoon (Tbsp) versus tea spoon (tsp).  Fruit Roll-Ups are perfect for raising my blood sugar.  The next time you are eating a Fruit Roll-Up remember your diabetic favorite diabetic blogger.  Kerri?  And see how fast you can peel the fruit out of the plastic.  Don’t forget that stupid little corner at the end where you’re not sure if the plastic is rolled over the fruit or the fruit is rolled over the plastic.  I hate that corner.  That is what I mean by Evil Fruit Roll-Ups.

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iamfrisbee
By iamfrisbee

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