I know it has been a while. We will ignore the fact that I don’t get much time to blog. Even now, I have an appointment in 27 minutes. I just don’t have the free time to blog like I want.
Last week, I had another appointment with Dr. Langley. First, let me tell you how much I like my doctor. He has to be the greatest endocrinologist of all time. He doesn’t make me feel like I am failing. Even though he should. He talks to me like I am a person. Even though he shouldn’t. His personality is perfect for a doctor. He is almost parent like, and I actually feel bad, like one does when they forget their siblings birthday. He never makes feel guilty. He gives strong advice, shows understanding without feeling sorry for me, and always has a lighthearted attitude.
Anyway, I had another appointment. My A1C was still 8.4. Wow. That is almost a good number. Not worse, but not better either. I must say I was a little surprised, because I was extremely disappointment in how I have been managing my diabetes. You’ve been managing your diabetes? I start the day off right with breakfast and insulin. It’s a hormone; not a condiment. Lunch is something I think about. Then, I am so hungry by the time I get home that I eat everything I possibly can. Next, I eat dinner and might take some insulin. Might? When was the last time that happened? Then, I take insulin to try and compensate for how badly I messed up. I was truly expecting my A1C to be back in the 9s and was embarrassed to be sitting in Dr. Langley’s office. As it turns out, my A1C is still 8.4. I’m maintaining the status quo.
It has become very difficult to keep my blood sugar under control. After I get home from work, Mamma leaves for school, and I am home alone with Squishy and Tata. Tata and I can entertain ourselves without issue. Squishy creates issues. If Mamma isn’t home, Squishy isn’t happy. I mean that. I don’t know what it is. I think Squishy is sexist. Every night it is the same thing. We start with trying to get supper made for all three of us. Then Squishy begins fussing while I am trying to feed her, Tata complains that she has eaten too much and only has room left for candy, and my food gets cold. Next, Squishy falls asleep in my arms as I walk around the room. I, then, begin to move slowly in an attempt to put her down without walking her. Ever tried to move past a motion sensor without getting caught. Same exact thing. Tata continues eating and Squishy sleeps. Finally, Tata will finish eating and then scream for some reason and wake Squishy. Squishy screams. Tata brushes her teeth, puts her pajamas on, and goes to bed. Squishy screams. I begin walking around the house while holding Squishy because she screams less when I walk. I do NOT sit down or sit her down. The level of anger a 7 month old can produce is not known until you set Squishy down when she is missing Mamma. Hours later, Mamma comes home and Squishy eats while I check my blood sugar and think to myself, “I’ll start taking better care of myself tomorrow”.
I can’t wait until tomorrow. Not tomorrow as in the day after today, but tomorrow as in the day I remember to check my blood sugar and take my insulin when I am supposed to. There are lots of things on my to-do list for tomorrow. Until tomorrow, at least I am maintaining the status quo.